"when you're alone Christmas is the pits"

Christ·mas
n.
1. A Christian feast commemorating the birth of Jesus.
2. December 25, the day on which this feast is celebrated.
3. Christmastide.

n 1: period extending from Dec. 24 to Jan. 6 [syn: Christmas, Christmastide, Christmastime, Yule, Yuletide, Noel] 2: a Christian holiday celebrating the birth of Christ; a quarter day in England, Wales, and Ireland [syn: Christmas, Christmas Day, Xmas, Dec 25] v : spend Christmas; "We were christmassing in New York"

Not that big deal after all. I know, I know, it's just one of those over-hyped festival the commercial world cut out to be (but the truth is, the commercial world always gets what it wants), made us feel the need to care and share, and blah blah blah the mumbo jumbo world to no end, as long as we SPEND.

Bingo. That's the keyword for the day we called Christmas Day. Spend, spend and spend. Not care, share and frigging wear and tear.

Sounding exactly like the whinning fool being left alone on this special day when the wretched gets their just deserts for being an atheistic asshole, isn't it? Well, perhaps I really am. Never a fan of Mr Jesus Christ nor his highly over-rated dad, I gotta admit having a certain soft spot for this particular day ever since I'm a 4 year old kid. To the extent of having this conspiracy theory of Santa Claus really exist. Well, screw "Polar Express", never watch it and never will, but sure as hell there ain't no Santa. But I do vividly remembered Batman ever saying, "It's healthy to be a little paranoid".

Gotta admit something real shitty happened on this xmas eve, thereby carving its mark as the worst xmas eve EVER in my 26 years to hell. From the juvenile years of hanging up my socks, awaiting for that fatass to climb down my chimney (there ain't none) to give me what I want, to being influenced by the mundane world of the mundane needs of making it an ultra-romantic (think ULTRA-violent in Clockwork Orange sense) day for the girl you happen to be infatulated with at that particular moment, the 25th of December never cease to make me feel a little different. Hmmm, the wonders of the achievements of the Commercial World....It just somehow strikes me as a really romantic festival, with the likes of the departed Nat King Cole's "Christmas Song" and all, creating the unforgetable ambience, and then further enhanced by Wong Kar Wai's 2046 concept, where the train running from the memoryless zone of 2047 back to the supposedly happy place of good old 2046, gotta bypass a sector, aptly coded, 1224, 1225 where one can only hug someone, anyone, in order to survive the coldness. Well, I endured through, no matter what. It's a perfect analogy of what one passes through during Xmas. And the motivations? It's nothing. Absolute nothing. (The concept of 2046 is that Deng Xiao Ping promises 50 years of "NO CHANGES" to the panicking hongkongers back in the late 70s to early 80s, both expats and locals, that just so to convince them that communism won't rear its ugly head's up at the turn of the century.) But can you yourself promise that you can love your most beloved one for five frigging decade with NO CHANGES at all? Can you? I can. (As gullible as that may sound to you, in my opinion, what really matters is the crazy determination and motivation that drives someone to say that.) But damn, does she knows. Boy does she knows how deep i'm in?

She wouldn't know. Will she regret someday? Perhaps so. But is she bothered? No, I afraid not. I can only hope for the best...for her. If SKY's the limits, so be it. Just so that I can reside in the nameless Hell I've always been in. Mountain? I sure am. But guess there's no one interested in taking shelter in this particularly pathetic one.

Enough whinning. Next up will be the best of 2004...be it anime, movie, game, so on and so forth, Feel free to post whatever comments you have.
Next Time,
Regards